This devoted behavior can trigger the release of dopamine and oxytocin, helping you feel even more closely bonded and leading you to believe you have your “real” relationship back. In an attempt to move past the abuse, the abuser often uses kindness, gifts, and loving gestures to usher in a “honeymoon” stage. ReconciliationĪfter the incident of abuse, tension gradually begins to fade. Any tension they experience may help explain the abuse, but it never excuses it. Keep in mind that people choose to abuse others. They might accuse you of making them mad or blame you for your “relationship problems.” threats of harm or property destruction.

The abuser eventually releases this tension on others, attempting to regain power by establishing control. You might alternate between tiptoeing around them, trying not to set them off, and making an extra effort to provide physical and emotional support. You may feel anxious, on your guard, and hyperalert to their potential needs.

Sensing the simmering tension, you might try to find ways to placate the abusive partner and prevent abuse from happening. Anything can fuel tension: family issues, trouble at work, physical illness, fatigue.įrustration and dissatisfaction intensify over time, often prompting feelings of powerlessness, injustice, anger, and paranoia. Tensions buildĪbusive partners often lash out in response to external stressors. It also helps provide clues toward a deeper understanding of why people experiencing abuse often find it difficult to break free. The cycle of abuse, also sometimes called the cycle of violence, helps illustrate common patterns of abusive behavior in relationships.

Power and control wheel emotional abuse